Single, but my heart is taken
August 20th, 1993
Ukulele, Guitar, and Violin
I honestly want to go to everyone and apologize for how stupid I acted. And I’m serious. Reading what I said against someone and other people was just rude, no wonder why she never actually liked me. My attitude to life was disgusting. Calling girls sluts/bitches/whores was plain rude. Yes you learn from your mistakes but the past is what made you who you are today.
There is one person I want to apologize to. She knows who she is. You won’t probably read this, but hopefully you will. I want to say sorry. Sorry for being the biggest douche bag there is. Becoming close friends to your bestfriend and talking shit about you to her. Exposing you on my facebook and saying how slutty and bitchy you are. What I did was wrong, and ungentleman like. What was I thinking when I knew you had another guy and I tried to take you away from him. You were not mine to take. sigh, yea…. there are days where I just want to find you, wait for you, and ask you to talk. But I just can’t. To me it seems like im just lowering myself down to a level where pain is a fingertip away. I don’t want to get hurt, but I want to get closure from this.
Reading all this just brought memories and stupid heartaches back to me. How could I be so stupid? I should have just let us have a friendship. Don’t you know how awkward it is when I see you on the street? in church? everywhere? I don’t want that. I want to smile at you when I see you, and you can say hi. But we all fucking know thats not gonna happen anytime soon. I give it till we are 35 years of age till we cross paths and eventually talk again.
I read some of your tumblr posts from 2-3 years ago, and I didn’t know what to say, but wow. I want to talk to you again, and I know you wanted to talk to me too.
But then we both know that you don’t like me as a person, you and I think of myself as a lowlife bastard who doesn’t care about anyone else but himself the one he might love.
And yes, I saw you follow me on twitter, then unfollowed moments later. Don’t worry, I won’t spazz at you if you follow me, i’ll follow you back.
You’ve got a nice guy who holds your heart right now. He seems like a great guy, and I hope you are happy.
This post is probably just for me to release this off my chest and mind. Sigh, life goes on.
One day i’ll talk to you, or you will talk to me.
Thank you for the memories, and I hope you know that I have no anger against you, because you changed my life drastically.
Who knew that the color purple would ever become manly to me? haha.
Thank you and goodbye.